"Don’t you dare fight with your immediate supervisor, as they are the one who will determine your career future" said the speaker of the teambuilding course that I attended last week.
One participant asked,"What if the things that superior asks are principally wrong? Do we have to compromise our self principles just for the sake of satifying the superior?"
In response, the speaker said,"Yes, you will have to do that. To be effective, you must do it. Look, if you fight with your superior, and your capabilities are denied as a result of the disobedience, you will stuck with your position forever. And what makes it worse is, the prefered subordinate whose principle is akin to the superior succeeded the post. At the end of the day, the cycle is not broken, and the poor you will stay in the regime, suffering in silence"
Having heard the answer, I had a feeling that the speaker must be too assimilated in the old-school "sopan-santun" culture where boss is always right, where any criticism that comes from subordinates will be treated as a ‘degil’ behaviour. I personally thought during the talk that Malaysia nowadays is not like that no more, as people now are more open.
But today, I have learnt the lesson in a very hard way. Indeed, I was wrong when I thought that the speaker is too seasoned in Malaysia, and I was wrong again when I thought that Malaysian people now are more civilised and willing to have open and professionally frank discussions.
After a year of hard labour work, this week comes the annual assessment on our work performance. Out of 5 points, we will do own assessment on our performance, and later to be filtered and deliberated twice. First when you discuss and agree with your manager on the points, and second when your manager will bring your case to the higher management which will again will be further deliberated. Deliberation in this bank means the points will be slash or discounted further, with upward revision is nearly impossible as if waiting for the PM to make apologies and accepting his mistake in mismanaging the country to the glory.
In the first round, after you embellishing all the achievements verbally, usually the manager will give feedback on the improvements that have to made next year. As the manager for the section is on unpaid leave, the deliberation was done with deputy director, whose professionalism during the first round of the deliberation processes, I admired.
However, what made me feel sick is that I was made to know by the assessor that some of the seniors, during their deliberation session with the assessor had told her on their distaste on me for my arrogance, ‘eksen’, stinginess in sharing knowledge and my interpersonal skill.
Fair enough, I don’t blame the assessor, as she herself being professional had to tell me on others reservations against me as a rectification that need to be done in the upcoming year.
If the seniors happen to read this, please find below my response:
1) For being arrogant, ‘eksen’ and stingy, I am sorry if you felt so. But truth to be told, on the stingy bit, truly, you had never ask. For being arrogant and eksen, I do feel that you need to improve your professionalism. Maybe my manner is not suitable for you, but really a frank and honest discussion on work matters are surely not the same as you badmouthing me during the performance assessment. The question is, why on earth should you take all the hassle and telling the deputy directors on my shortcomings, when in the first place you should have talk to me in a frank manner, the same manner that I talk to you in my own so called arrogant way?
2) It really is a pity to know that even in this good organisation, there are some old-school people who do not seem to realise that we are moving towards a globalisation world. From the bottom of my heart, my ‘arrogance and eksen’ is purely professional, and it became so unprofessional of you when you brought the issue up to the assessor during your deliberation session, which had clouded the assessor’s judgement on me, hence imparing my performance points. Congratulation, you manage to do some damage on me.
3) If you happen to read this, and you had the so called feeling of ’sakit hati’ against me, I am happy. Really, I intentionally want to inflict ’sakit hati’ on you, for you to experience the feeling that I had during my first deliberation session after you badmouthing me.
Now who is being unprofessional? And the cycle, is still not broken. Shame on you, and me.
As for now, I told myself, ‘Too bad, life is not always a box full of chocolates’
Really, to be effective, I have to improve my interpersonal skill. Please help me.
